Category: Health and Wellness
Do you ever wake up in the middle of the night in a sweat because you forgot to peel your potatoes? Maybe you left the home and are now worried that your collection of 2-year-old pizza boxes aren't being cleaned and dusted? You might even be concerned that your loved one isn't getting his or her food, and perhaps you're unavailable to go to the pet store.
All of these concerns and more can b remedied by our new product, the Elasticast(TM)Popcorn Ball 2006, manufactured and design by Fruity Tooty Hoots, a division of Dorks Unlimited.
The Elasticast(TM) Popcorn Ball 2006, priced at a mere $62,500, is guaranteed to get you so addicted to playing with it that you'll forget all worries and concerns.
House burning down and you don't know what to do? Just play with your Elasticast(TM) Popcorn Ball 2006!
Depressed and hurt because your spouse® left you for a same-sex lover? Don't be sad. Cheer yourself up and forget your blues with the Elasticast(TM) Popcorn Ball 2006.
Bill Gates planning to take over the world, plunging us into a dictatorship which will shadow the earth, as we know it, into centuries upon centuries of dark power and cruel law? That's right. Don't worry about it! Just play with your Elasticast(TM) Popcorn Ball 2006! Even if they're flogging you with fruit-by-the-foot, pouring ice tea on your Pringles, or any other absolutely unimaginable tortures, you'll be happy with your Elasticast(TM) Popcorn Ball 2006.
Call and order one today, and we'll include our companion product, the Elasticast(TM) Meatball 2005, a 6,291 dollar value, for free! The Elasticast(TM) Meatball 2005 is the ultimate in buoyancy fun!
So order today! Our operators are being lazy and bloating themselves on left-over pizza, but they'll be there to answer your call. You can place your orders at: (1) (900) 462-3675. That's (1) (900) I'm A Dork.
Offer not available where prohibited by law. Dorks Unlimited assumes no responsibilities for any damages, whether actual or implied, that may be caused by the use of this product. The vassals there also hold no claim of liability, nor legal responsibility, nor moral obligation should any addiction, emotional distress, or otherwise impeding side-effects occur.
Fruity Tooty Hoots is a subsidiary of Dorks Unlimited, and therefore adopts any legal injunctions or bindings implicit upon Dorks Unlimited.
Warning. Side-effects include dizziness, depression, loss of bladder and rectal control, measles, hypochondria, negative psychosis, athlete's foot, arachnophobia, claustrophobia, xenophobia, financial unbalance, hair loss, skin erosions, breaded shrimp, unlawful discharge, and sexual dysfunction.
Oh wise and Wraith-like one. Do you except visa?
LOL. I'll take two. And exactly what would be considered an unlawful discharge? LOL
For the most lovely of the side affects *cough! I should like to place an order for one of these most marvelously advertised thingy’s, this Elasticast(TM) Popcorn Ball 2006! It is not for me you understand but for one who craves the most unique of gifts *this ought to teach ‘em not to be a problem to me ever again, now where was I? Ah Yes, please rush me one of these thingy’s and I get the FREE meatbally thingy-ma-gigger too! Well, what more could a person ever in a lifetime, no make that 10 lifetimes, what more could one ask for??? Well, let me think…. You don’t happen top have a spare Castiron Teflon Elasticast(TM) Popcorn Ball 2006 on hand do you??? I have been told that they are absolutely lethal and the side affects are only mildly so deadly. Nothing that a funeral can’t handle.
hahahaha Kai! Dorks will forever be dorks!!! hehehehe *smile* I don't know about wanting a popcorn ball but the meatball sounds nice! heheheheheh
*sexy*
I want one, I will order one right away. Lol.
Dude! You so need to write my English paper for me, LOL! I have to do it on product invention ... in other words, I have to come up with something that doesn't exist yet, or add to something that already does exist but make it my own. Then I have to write an ad for it and then I have to describe it in full detail--what it does, how it works, why it's important and necessary ... blah, blah, blah. Hehehehe, this so totally reminded me that I still need to do my homework. Maybe you can do it for me, yes?
oh, i would like one too. wow, i like squishy thingies.